On Being Responsive...

As I was growing up, our family had the great fortune of sharing a duplex with our maternal grandmother and her sister-our great aunt. Looking back I realize what a blessing that was for us. To this day I still heed the advice they gave me as a kid-I suppose that is because I didn't heed it at the time! Still, I find myself ever more grateful for their responsiveness to my needs. The time and effort they took to help form me in good attitudes and habits was such an act of love (and hope on their part). I gave them plenty of "teachable moments", but very few reasons to think I would ever put it into practice! They were heroic in their patience and perseverance. I owe them a debt of gratitude for not giving up on me! How I wish our children had known them. I try to remember that each time I respond to the needs of our kids and others with that same disposition, I have the opportunity to pass on the blessing they took the time to be for me.



Being responsive to the needs of others is a human attribute I desire to embrace more fully. This is part of our humanity, but it is also manifested, in a particular way, in a woman's nature. We seem to be hard-wired to intuit the deeper, often invisible, longings of others. Since women are the bearers of life, we come into this world with an internal radar. It is an uncanny ability to sense what is often undetectable on the surface. Granted, we may have a tendency to over rely on this gift, but when used with prudence, it can be a great source of strength in our relationships with other people. The key is for us to realize that this intrinsic ability is there for a reason. It is to help us attend to the unspoken needs of those around us (from the child in our womb to the marginalized in society, and everyone in between). How often do I find myself using this quality in a way which brings division, rather than as a tool to facilitate healing and responsiveness! Without grounding myself in prayer, I can wrongly interpret others so easily. I become shortsighted and unable to see with clear vision. Rather than understanding another, I can misconstrue them and attach my own limitations and weaknesses to them. This then becomes a caricature! When used properly, though, it is one of the greatest characteristics of my femininity.



I remember reading once that Mother Teresa would briefly bow to each person she met. Someone asked her why she did this and her answer was that she was bowing to Jesus in each one. Now that is responsiveness and the proper use of her feminine intuitions! Was there any woman of the 20th century better known for her attentiveness to the needs of others? She may not have carried a child in her body, but she certainly held the human person close to her heart. Taking the time to pray will bring a depth of understanding in our relationships with others. It is like putting on corrective lenses for the eyes of our heart so we may act with discernment and timely responsiveness to those around us. In this way, we will respond with the fullness of our nature as women!