On Being Responsive...

As I was growing up, our family had the great fortune of sharing a duplex with our maternal grandmother and her sister-our great aunt. Looking back I realize what a blessing that was for us. To this day I still heed the advice they gave me as a kid-I suppose that is because I didn't heed it at the time! Still, I find myself ever more grateful for their responsiveness to my needs. The time and effort they took to help form me in good attitudes and habits was such an act of love (and hope on their part). I gave them plenty of "teachable moments", but very few reasons to think I would ever put it into practice! They were heroic in their patience and perseverance. I owe them a debt of gratitude for not giving up on me! How I wish our children had known them. I try to remember that each time I respond to the needs of our kids and others with that same disposition, I have the opportunity to pass on the blessing they took the time to be for me.



Being responsive to the needs of others is a human attribute I desire to embrace more fully. This is part of our humanity, but it is also manifested, in a particular way, in a woman's nature. We seem to be hard-wired to intuit the deeper, often invisible, longings of others. Since women are the bearers of life, we come into this world with an internal radar. It is an uncanny ability to sense what is often undetectable on the surface. Granted, we may have a tendency to over rely on this gift, but when used with prudence, it can be a great source of strength in our relationships with other people. The key is for us to realize that this intrinsic ability is there for a reason. It is to help us attend to the unspoken needs of those around us (from the child in our womb to the marginalized in society, and everyone in between). How often do I find myself using this quality in a way which brings division, rather than as a tool to facilitate healing and responsiveness! Without grounding myself in prayer, I can wrongly interpret others so easily. I become shortsighted and unable to see with clear vision. Rather than understanding another, I can misconstrue them and attach my own limitations and weaknesses to them. This then becomes a caricature! When used properly, though, it is one of the greatest characteristics of my femininity.



I remember reading once that Mother Teresa would briefly bow to each person she met. Someone asked her why she did this and her answer was that she was bowing to Jesus in each one. Now that is responsiveness and the proper use of her feminine intuitions! Was there any woman of the 20th century better known for her attentiveness to the needs of others? She may not have carried a child in her body, but she certainly held the human person close to her heart. Taking the time to pray will bring a depth of understanding in our relationships with others. It is like putting on corrective lenses for the eyes of our heart so we may act with discernment and timely responsiveness to those around us. In this way, we will respond with the fullness of our nature as women!

On Authentic Feminism

This year I will have the privilege of voting in my 8th presidential election. Over the years I have understood the importance of voting for candidates who display what Stephen Covey calls "principle-centered leadership". To use my vote to support a single promised act by any individual is myopic and imprudent. Integrity is by definition the state of being entirely whole. To live with integrity means that there is a harmony between what one thinks, says and does. I have found this to be the best test for any candidate seeking my vote.

As the November 4 election draws near, I would like to highlight an issue that in my opinion is at the heart of the "culture wars". It is reflected in the words, demeanor and record of both parties, but in opposing ways. It is at the core of the family and society; and until we get this right the peace we all long for will never be possible. The topic that generates heated and polemic responses from people is feminism. The resolution can be found in what I suggest should properly be called "authentic feminism". Since words do have meaning and power; it is important that the language we choose be clear and a true representation of the ideas being conveyed.

So what do I mean by "authentic" feminism? Feminism is concerned with the rights and equality of women. The reason that humanism does not suffice is that there are natural differences found in human males and females. Consequently, it is necessary to address this reality in a more precise way. If we also look at the word authentic the dictionary says "entitled to acceptance or belief because of agreement with known facts or experiences". With these words defined I propose that the reason that [non-authentic] feminism is so divisive is that it attempts to deny what nature insists humankind embrace. Often feminism is used as a pawn for political ideologies, rather than for true good. After all, isn't that the purpose of definitively stating rights that are intrinsic to the human person (ex: The Declaration of Independence and the World Declaration of Human Rights).

Keeping these thoughts in mind, let me give a thumbnail sketch of what "authentic feminism" looks like. It begins with the understanding that respect, dignity and equality are due to all human beings, male and female alike. It recognizes that women are equal, but different intellectually, physically, spiritually and emotionally. These natural differences are recognized and affirmed as essential to a complete and prosperous humanity. Feminism that is genuine will acknowledge, accept and accommodate the fundamental nature of woman. It will seek to protect and promote the good that is inherent in her very being.

Let us now take a look at "counterfeit feminism". Feminism that is false will renounce, reject and repudiate the traits inherent to women. It will seek to replace and even destroy the very essence of what it means to be a woman- in the guise of defending her "rights". These so-called rights are not rights at all because their object is the eradication of what is most intimately and uniquely connected to the female human person. It is here, in the depth of her being physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually that the assault begins. As long as woman is attacked at this most basic level, true and lasting peace is never possible. The refusal to acquiesce to the innate attributes nature deems essential can only result in a rift that tears apart humanity at its nucleus. The most fundamental attribute of woman is to be the bearer of life. The abnegation of this prerogative unleashes nature’s disciplinary consequences. Mother Nature will not be duped! There are natural consequences to the decisions we make. We are free to choose our actions, but not the ramifications of them. The natural world is an unsympathetic teacher! As modern as we are, as long as we pretend that we can impose our desires upon the laws of nature, then I suspect we are not too far removed from our "cave" ancestors! It is time we recognize that we cannot manipulate the order of nature without dire effects for all of humanity.

True feminism celebrates the essence of woman and seeks to appreciate and work in accordance with her nature. In so doing, it offers the woman, the family and society the opportunity to face challenges and hardships with an acceptance of who she is as female. Only this will begin to reverse the devastating impact of choices made which begin the cycle of war, not peace. The seeds of conflict in our world are sown every time a woman is encouraged to turn her back on the most basic characteristic of her being. Nature chose her to be the bearer and nurturer of new life, not the executioner of it. “Authentic feminism” understands this and seeks to find solutions to difficult circumstances while respecting her role as life giver.

As we go to the polls this November, may we take the time to support those candidates that lead with conviction and principle. Let us look beyond the narrow lens of our pocketbooks to elect those who are committed to the common good!